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For Your Every Move and Waking Sound

[ website | With Your Mercury Mouth ]
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Its Been a Minute, Hasn't It? [02 Dec 2010|11:20pm]
I can't believe I am doing this. I am updating my livejounal! After a -read it- 1 year and 3 month hiatus. Why now? Why this moment? It is hard to explain, but I suppose it would be fair to chalk it up to pure nostalgic indulgence. Why update an almost entirely abandoned online diary that I have had no contact with in over a year? Maybe a year from now I will think about my livejournaling days and come here to read these words and ponder my life at THIS exact moment. !!!

At this EXACT moment, I am sitting in bed after an illness that has stretched on for a quite unwelcome amount of time. Just a cold, but it really has me feeling run down! I haven't been sick since I left Brazil in July... so I suppose I can't complain too much. And hey, speaking of Brazil, it appears that last I updated... over a year ago.... I said I had my sights set on South America. Funny how setting your sights upon some distant dreamy goal can bring that dreamy goal into reality. Because indeed, I DID make it to South America. I made it all the way to Brazil! I lived and studied there for a little over four months this year and it was by far one of the most incredible experiences I have ever had in my entire life. I think about my time in Brazil everyday. I miss that country so much! I miss Florianopolis, the island I lived one, as though it were a lost lover. I miss the smell of my neighborhood in Lagoa da Conceicao, like flowers and perfume. I miss the long bus rides into Centro, the thrill of navigating through the simplest of directions from the motoristas. I miss all of my friends, Rosa and her incredible energy. I miss speaking in Portuguese every day. I miss the sandwiches!! Today I was nearly brought to tears, seriously, reminiscing with Ana, my Brazilian teletandam language exchange partner, about the wonderful lanches in Brazil. Sandwiches natural! Sandwiche du atum! Sandwich com legumes e soja! Meu deus, o que eu nao vou dar por um sandwiche brasilero justo agora!? Oh Brazil, my heart longs for you. Meu corecao tem nada mas saudades pra voce!

Really, the important thing to bare in mind here is that I will be returning to Brazil. I haven't quite figured out my plan... but there is a plan awaiting my discovery. I will be going back to live in Florianopolis for awhile. And it may be very soon! I am graduating in less than two weeks. In fact... my god. I am graduating from college in exactly 8 days! In 8 days I will no longer be a student, but rather an individual entity with opportunities abound. The common thing, I have found, to ask a soon-to-be college graduate is, "so what are your plans?" My plans? Well... as I sort of indicated before... my plans have yet to take a concrete shape. However, loosely, my plans involve returning to Brazil, learning Spanish, and living in either... Chile, Columbia, Peru, or Argentina. Of course, it is fair to say that I am incredibly open to whatever thrilling opportunities that may present themselves. I just know, with one hundred percent certainty, that I will be returning to South America at some point in the next year. The details are soon to be worked out.

And as far as life right now? Well... as I like to remind all of my coworkers, constantly, I am a single barista, always looking to meet new and interesting people. Tyler and I parted ways soon after my return from Brazil and since then the majority of my time has been equally divided between my research project on the negative health impacts of industrial agricultural methods in the US and abroad, pattering around my house, and unleashing my inner salsa dancing demon! I have become entirely, completely, body, mind, and soul, involved with salsa. I love salsa dancing in a way that I have never loved anything before. When I go out salsa dancing, I feel freed, lifted, and one with my every joyful desire. Salsa dancing is such an incredible, optimistic, mind-blowingly beautiful activity!! I should be salsa dancing right now...

But alas. My body needs healing that can only be afforded through rest. And so. That is what I must now do. I dont know when we will meet again, dearest livejournal. However, something tells me this time won't be the last.



O Floripa! Ainda comigo...
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Whoaa [28 Aug 2009|12:21pm]
It's been a minute. Hasn't it?? I haven't updated since my trip to France. It was a great trip. I'm glad I got the France bug outta my system. I now have my eyes set on South America. Sometime soon, I tell you! Really though, I loved France and definitely hope to return again sometime soon. Perhaps in a warmer season. It really is a beautiful place, and it was a really beautiful experience.

Because Ellie and I spent so much time in only two cities, we had the opportunity to form some real connections while we were there. In Lyon I met my friend Nicolas, and he and his friend Pierre-Louis just left my house this past week after having been here for 2 weeks. What a sad day it was! Those boys are so fantastic. I miss them dearly already. I stayed with Medhi, a friend I made, just outside of Paris and he is actually sitting on my couch right now after having been in Richmond with his friend Jean-Francois for the last week. It's been quite an exciting month. However, I am really looking forward to having my house back to myself!

School started back up again and I love being in school. What am I going to do once I graduate? I am taking a class with Mark Wood called Spirituality in Nature and it just might shape up to be one of the best educational experiences to date. In addition to an incredibly open and welcoming environment, it includes frequent trips to outdoor locations for real nature interaction.

And dude. My livejournal turned 7 years old this month. CRAAAAZY!

Hey Chris Kilbourn, how are you?

Anyway. Anyone heard Earth Song by MJ?? Check it out.

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[22 Dec 2008|12:09am]
It's been FOR ever! I'll give ya the short term run down. I became extremely ill earlier in the week due to some mysterious pelvic infection (??) but Tyler proved that he might just be the best boy friend in the world and took such good care of me until I felt better. And thank god I am feeling better! I had to get on a plan this morning to fly out to see my parents. Thus I am currently in Illinois until Christmas. And then I AM OFF TO FRANCE! Yes, that's right, after all of this time, I will FINALLY be placing my feet upon soil outside of our country. And really, could this be a more appropriate time? What, with the coming down fall of our society and all. I need to get my toes used to foreign lands as I, along with many others, might be fleeing to one sooner than later.

I am so excited! I'm flying out the day after Christmas and will be meeting up with Ellie and our friend Richard who we will be staying with in Lyon. Everything beyond that point I cannot begin to imagine. I'll be sure to post some pictures of my adventure.

Until next time,

JOYEUX NOEL!!
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[27 Sep 2008|02:03am]
Did I ever bother to mention that I have declared my major? I've decided to get a degree in religious studies. If someone had told me two years ago that this is what I would come to study, I would have laughed in their face. But alas, as I have been learning, life is an unbelievably strange phenomenon. I couldn't be happier with my educational choice. Though I will say that I have recently become concerned that this degree could have some undesired and profound effects on my personal sense of spirituality. With every knew concept I learn, I feel further and closer to my own belief system. It is so hard for me to understand how so many people for so many years have taken an other's explanation of truth and believed it with such conviction. How is Mohammed different from Jesus different from Gutama Buddha? They were all just ordinary people with extraordinary visions. How could anyone of them be any more right than the others? Sometimes I feel like these questions aren't important because I won't know until I know anyhow. But then it starts to feel so essential to my being, and I am reminded of the Buddhist concept of the Three Capacities of Being, where in a person of the smallest of small capacity is concerned only with matters of this lifetime. Do I really want to be of such small capacity?

In other events, I am in the midst of planing a trip to France with Ellie this winter. I need it desperately. The trip to Thailand falling through was such a bummer. I need to get out of this country! If all ends well I should have a plane ticket within the next few weeks and quite a bit to get in order before winter break rolls around.

Anyhow, its infrequent that I write in here, I know. Unfortunately this will have to be brief. I've got work at 10 which only leaves me a few hours for sleep. Hope all is well for those in livejournal land.
lets keep touching

[18 Jul 2008|12:58pm]
It's been quite awhile, hasn't it? My typing and spelling skills are suffering due to my lack of contact with this keyboard, but I suppose it's a fair trade off for the reading I have been doing. I recently finished my first two Kurt Vonnegut books, Breakfast of Champions being my favorite.

Much has transpired since my last update, though I feel no real desire to write about it all. I will mention that I went to Jeff Porter's farm last weekend, as well as back in May, and it is quite possibly the closest to paradise that I have ever been. A huge group of us went and spent both weekends basking in the sunlight wondering around the rolling green hills of the 200 some odd acres of the tree farm. The first time I went, the evening bonfire turned into an incredibly liberating nude event, with every single one of us walking around completely naked and completely comfortable for the better part of the evening. There is something that happens between a group of people when they can achieve that level of intimacy in a weekends time. Although there was little nudity this time, I had one of the most memorable moments of my life with Tyler in the Middle River on Saturday afternoon. It was as if we merged as one together, and than together as one with everything around us. Words really do no justice to the experience, so I will write about it no further.

I went to New York over 4th of July weekend and saw the fireworks from the best location imaginable. We were on a rooftop in Greenpoint, perfectly centered among the buildings for viewing. The Manhattan skyline looked as if someone had thrown glitter over it as hundreds of windows blinked with the flash of cameras from every building. The following night we went to a BYOB Indian restaurant that was surely violating fire code with its extremely colorful and excessive decor. They sang me a rousing Indian happy birthday, complete with mango ice cream and flashing lights.

My real birthday was this past Monday. I spent the whole day lounging, something I've gotten quite good at, went out to lunch with Caitlin, dinner with Tyler, and then had a little party at my house. It was a very good day for ringing in the second decade of my life. 20 already, can you believe it? I started this silly thing just a month after my 14th birthday, and look! Here I am, 6 years later, updating one of the only living elements of my vastly different past. Strange!

Anyhow, I've got a man to see about the nail in my car tire, as well as a weekend at Tyler's parents house to get ready for. Alors, au revoir pour maintenant!
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[03 Jun 2008|04:05pm]
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I can't believe it's been a year.
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[15 May 2008|03:37pm]
Had a few really intense dreams this morning. In one of them, Joey had died and it was terrible to not have said goodbye. In another, I was taking a really awesome senior seminar class on All Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. I can't stop thinking about them.

I saw Radiohead on Sunday and it was beyond incredible. It poured rain the entire time. By the second encore my muscles were contracting and I had lost feeling in my toes. I could have lived without that... but the rain could not have been more amazing. When they played Paranoid Android rain down, come on rain down on me it was one of the most beautiful and intense things I have yet to experience. My cell phone was destroyed by the torrential down pours, but I don't really mind. Everything about it was perfect.

On Tuesday I awoke to find that my car window had been smashed out. After I got all of that straightened out, Tyler, Lexy, Sarah, Elenore, Bowman, Viennay, Carlton etc. and I went to Texas Beach and had an amazing day of exploration, art, and basking in the sunlight. It felt so natural, running around the woods barefoot. Sarah gifted us with special cookies, and the whole day was enhanced by their magic. After we left, we all drunkly shopped for food to grill and had an incredible cook out at Carlton's house. I unfortunately sliced my finger open with the lid of a can of beans. I have taken my thumbs for granted, I'll tell you, because it is very difficult to do normal things without the use of one.

Tyler and I are going to Illinois tomorrow morning to visit my family for a few days. I am so excited to see them! And so excited for Tyler to meet them, and for them to meet Tyler.

I bought a book about traveling in Thailand and am getting increasingly worked up about going. I need to figure out plane tickets, arrival dates, and post program traveling plans. I've also got to find a job so I can afford to live upon my return.

Everything is so good, it's great.
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!!!!!!!!! [07 May 2008|01:07pm]
I got accepted! I'm going to Thailand!
2 without the holds| lets keep touching

[22 Apr 2008|03:19pm]
The end of the semester seems so nuts. I feel like everyone is running around pulling their hair out trying to force time and obligation to meet at a happy middle. This perception could just be a result of my personal hair pulling because I feel like everything accumulates at the end and creates a huge stack of things that must be done, NOW NOW NOW. I'm not too stressed about it though, and I couldn't really point to any reason for my calm state. I just am. I'll embrace it while I can.

I started working with Mairin a few weeks ago on a short film she made featuring my song Enough. She asked me to play the main part and thankfully, for both the sake of her film and myself, there wasn't much dialogue. It was mostly just singing, smoking cigs, and trying to not look at the camera. The most challenging part of the whole thing was a crying scene during which, try as I might, I could not muster up even one tear. We finally resorted to putting drops of faucet water into my eyes which I think probably caused the pink eye I had. It was worth it though, I'm sure. I'm really excited to see how it turned out.

I think I finally chose a major, though I haven't made a move to declare it. I was looking through classes before I registered last week and realized that all of the classes I wanted to take were religious studies classes. So I looked into the Religious Studies Major requirements and as it turns out, I already have fulfilled a large portion of the prerequisites. So I registered for the classes I'll need for the major. I'm not particularly siked on the idea of having to take western religious classes, Christianity really doesn't interest me. However, I feel as though I'll benefit in some way from doing so and having a goal makes this whole college thing seem a lot more important.

I found out last week that I won 500 dollars towards the Thailand Study Abroad program. I've just got a few more forms to turn into VCU. I really hope it works out because I reaaaaaaaaaalllly cannot wait to go over there. I just started reading Eat, Pray, Love and it has got my mind churning about all kinds of travel plans. If I could I would buy a plane ticket right now and head to India. I figure... all in due time. I'll explore the world at some point. It's just a matter of figuring out how and when.

Anyhow, I've got to get back on the Yoga train. I did some in my front yard on Friday and my body was SO happy to pull itself into the lotus, lengthen itself into the downward dog. I don't know what it impeding my dedication to it. I know the benefits... in fact, I LOVE the benefits. So why have I been avoiding it? I really want to get in touch with myself and my body and the universe and ground my feet more deeply while letting my heart be the guide. I read a something recently... though I can't remember where... maybe the Tao of Physics? I'm not sure, but it said something along the lines of there being two kinds of paths in life. One with a heart and one without a heart. It said to choose the path with a Heart and you'll always be in a good place. I'm trying to be more concious of the paths I choose. It can be hard, what with all of the distractions offered by everyday life... but it must be done, I must follow the paths I find to have heart, because as Frank Zapa once said, "If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you what to do, then YOU DESERVE IT."



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[09 Apr 2008|01:22pm]
I turned in my application to study abroad in Thailand this summer. I can only hope it pans out. Taylor pointed out a distressing reality the other day. Apparently mosquitoes are quite vicious and can be quite deadly during Thailand's summer season. I have never proved to be much of a match for mosquitoes. He helpfully recommended ceder wood oil to vier them away. If i get into the program, I'll find a way to survive.

I've been pretty sickly as of late. After the whole rabies fiasco my foot suddenly stopped bearing weight without inducing nauseating pain. Luckily Richmond is home to an incredible Community Acupuncture Center and the two treatments I received have completely eliminated the pain. However as soon as my dumb foot stopped hurting I caught a cold that was met with little to no resistance from my beaten down immune system. Next came a three day long migraine and then an ear infection and pink eye, this past weekend. I have really taken my health for granted because as it has been taken away from me these past 3 or 4 weeks, I have been miserable. Being sick for extended periods of time becomes extremely depressing because you start feeling entirely abnormal because commonly enjoyable activities become a burden out of fatigue and stress. Thankfully I've been feeling a lot better today and I can only hope for improving health. I need to get back into good routines that promote wellness. I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!

In other news, today is the 3 day in the last 7 that I have unknowingly put on an article of clothing inside out. This has never been a problem for me before so I can only wonder what it implies. Perhaps I am loosing my mind... I wouldn't doubt it. Aside from these slight blips everything has been great. Neighbor-dating is awesome and I am beyond content in my first functional relationship. A lot of times I find myself thinking that Tyler reminds me of someone I used to know and then realize that he is actually reminding me of someone I always wanted to know but never did. The only down side to all of the time we spend together is that Boogaloo is showing increasing signs of what I can only guess is separation anxiety. Shes never been one for physical affection so maybe shes just jealous. Whatever it is, I think I need to get her a little kitty playmate sometime soon. Even if they don't get along at least she won't be so lonely.
2 without the holds| lets keep touching

[23 Mar 2008|05:19pm]
Akron family is soooo amazing. Their new album is incredible! Tyler downloaded it a few days ago and we listened to it more than a few times on our way to and from Norfolk this weekend. It is so different than this album, not better or worse, just as amazing and in a completely different way. I highly recommend checking it out.

This past week has been quite stressful. I got bit by a dumb little chihuahua last weekend at work and was unfortunately too stupid to ask the owner if the dog had been vaccinated, or to get her information. It was such a small dog and such a small bite that I didn't think anything about it until 6 hours later when the small bite became a big, swollen, oozing hole on my finger. Lovely. And thus began my first experience with the terrible World of Rabies. A word to the wise, if you ever get bit by an animal, for christ's sakes, grab the damn thing and bring it straight to animal control, save yourself this burden.



In the World of Rabies there are several things to keep in mind. One can only know if a particular animal has Rabies by viewing vaccination records or by quarantining it for several days to run tests. Once the animal is gone, so goes the chance to believe that you will not contract Rabies. The incubation period before Rabies symptoms occur can be anywhere from a few weeks to a few years. Once the symptoms do occur, there is no chance for survival. As the nurse at the emergency room last Sunday so eloquently said in response to asking if the vaccines were 100% necessary, "The dog probably didn't have Rabies. But if it did and you don't go through this treatment, you will die." Again, lovely. The first 6 shots were by far the worst, the 4 huge Rabies Globulin injections in my upper thighs and butt winning 1st place for my life's most miserable medical moments. The 7th shot this past Wednesday induced some wonderful flu symptoms. I'm expecting the additional 3 I've got to get over the next few weeks to do much of the same. Terrible!

Everything has been so thrown off by all of this mess. I haven't been to the gym, I haven't done any yoga, I've missed 5 classes, I haven't filled out my Thailand study abroad form, I've acquired my first 2 parking tickets in Richmond, I've lost my 2nd check card in 3 weeks, I've even let down my sugar guard! I've got to get things back on track. Who knew that stupid, ugly, little chihuahua could have caused such an uproar in my life. I know one thing now for sure. Nature is definitely superior to man.

In a more uplifting course of events, Norfolk on Friday/Saturday was awesome. Cold Toast and Rifle Recoil played on of the best music sets I've ever seen at a bar/restaurant. Had a huge slumber party in Tyler's friend's living room and spent a brief but beautiful afternoon at the beach. I got a sunburn, of course, but won't complain in the least for it was more than a trade off for the good energy shared. Toast and Rifle played again last night along with Thrust Lab and blew my mind out of it's skull. Jeff made me cry, Thrust Lab made me dance more freely than I have in years, and Cold Toast made me elated, left me speechless, and excited me about the nature of man and reality. SO GOOD. My house got a little coating of trashdust last night after entertaining some guests and leaving them to their own devices to eat ravioli across the street. Again, more than a trade off. Nothing a broom and time can't cure.

Blahblah, long winded, long update, I know. I must be off, there is much to be done. Oh and CAITLIN I LOVE YOU AND NEED MORE OF YOU IN MY LIFE PLEASE.
lets keep touching

[14 Mar 2008|09:33pm]
Spring dropped in today, and what a day it was! I need to move somewhere that perpetually has weather such as todays because it makes everything feel absolutely perfect. Clayton came over and woke me up this afternoon and we left around 2 for what became the longest walk of my life. It was incredible. We walked to the Virginia War Memorial on Belvedere and then walked down to the canal walk and then onto the pipeline, which was one of my favorite parts. We walked the whole length of the pipeline and there is a part where it gets close enough to the ground to jump down onto this little beach. I had no idea that it was even back there! Then we walked to Southside and walked the entire flood wall, climbed to the top of the Manchester Climbing Wall and then walked along the river to the Boulevard Bridge, into Byrd Park and then finally back home. I am truly proud of my feet for taking me as far as they did today. Those five hours were not easy with my stupid choice of shoes. We went out for a huge Greek dinner afterwards and now I feel immobile and stuffed. Exploring like we did today made me really excited to get out there and see more. There is so much to see! And thankfully, plenty of time to see it.

The rest of the week was pretty fantastic as well. Saw Akron Family and Megafun last Sunday. They seriously blew my mind. The end of Akron Family's set was so psychedelic that I felt as though I was being transported out of my body. I had this really strange moment when, with my eyes closed, started seeing the strangest things... huge splats of blood, and strange faces at even more strange angles. Sadly, the smelly bopping girl in front of me bopped the visions right on out of me and try as I did, I could not muster a positive regard towards her. I tried to imagine her as nothing but a free bird... alas she was such a free bird that her wings flapped into everyone's face and even into a large portions of photographs that I couldn't take because of her! MAN!

After the show Tyler and I went to his grandma's house and were welcomed with home made apple/pear pie and frosted pound cake. I had to kiss my sugar aversion goodbye because in the morning, I awoke to home made waffles! We went to DC and saw a really cool IMax movie that DIDN'T give me motion sickness! Then we visited my Nana and Pappy. I have never heard my grandfather talk so much in my entire life. We drank some wine with Ellie and Sarah and I had a heave conversation with Ellie's mom about eastern thought and practices. Had a girls night on Wednesday with Rachel, Sarah, Ellie and Phylis and realized how important it is for me to go visit Phylis more often. She is such an incredible woman, and has been everything of a grandmother to me. It was a very action and elderly people packed few days and I loved every moment of it.

Now... I've really got to go wash of today's dirt, write Kelli a letter, start my application for Thailand this summer, and tend to this ridiculous sunburn I must have acquired during today's adventure. I am the only person I know who can burn in early March. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.



AKRON




Having a moment with a strange vagina-looking sculpture




Learning to Salsa with Ellie




Practicing secret gestures with Tyler




Are they related?
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[05 Mar 2008|06:52pm]
I feel like I'm always tired! The Ayruveda identifies this as depletion of rasa and recommends soaking 5 fresh dates in water over night, taking the seeds out in the morning, blending them with a half cup of milk, drinking the shake, and eating nothing for 2 hours afterwards. Hmmm... might be worth a try, though I think some good old fashioned sleep, the solid, full night kind, would suffice. This past week was kind of nuts in terms of obligatory duties. I had a 7 page paper due on Friday morning, as well as a quiz in French. I was up until 6 in the morning finishing the paper, then went all the way to Roanoke to play a show that turned out to not be a show. I was irritated at first, but the night turned out to be a lot of fun. My favorite part of the whole trip was playing memory games in the car on the way back with Rafi, JG, and Juliana. I've got an excellent recording of an impromptu version of System of a Down's Chop Suey. John really killed the vocal parts on that one, man! Played a show at a bar on Saturday that reminded me of all the reasons why I don't play/go to shows at bars. There is nothing more irritating than trying to zone out to Alamida and hearing, "DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!" being chanted away in the distance. Ew. Worked on Sunday, blah, blah, but was all in all a good day that ended with Tyler and Arrested Development, which is by the way one of my new favorite shows... though I suppose at this point it is more of an new old favorite?

Anyhow. The yoga is going very well. Though I really wish I could figure out a more affective way of implementing home-practice. I can't flow through the poses because I have to stop and think about which one's I want to do next. I'm sure it will better with time. I just wish I could devote all of my free time to studying yoga, meditation, and tai chi. We watched a video tonight after my Ayruveda exam about ancient Chinese Taoist medicine and it was truly incredible to see the vitality in these people! There was a clip from an average morning in People's Park in China and the whole place was full of people doing tai chi amongst the trees, all of them focusing inward, attempting to locate their chi. There was also a scene of a tai chi gong master who claims that if you come to practice with him every morning at dawn for 3 years, only then will he believe that you are serious about learning his art. I hope to one day have the time and resources necessary to devote myself to immersing in the studies of these ancient philosophies and practices. Speaking of which, yoga in ten minutes! Will I ever be on time for anything?

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[27 Feb 2008|12:54pm]
I was reading over some old journal entries and realized something wonderful. I don't miss me. I don't miss me! It seems, upon reflecting back to past times, that I have always missed myself, a present version, a past version, I've always had this strange sense that I was slipping away from me. For the first time in my life, I do not miss myself. I know now that I am myself, that I am here and alive and always will be until I am not anymore. There is no such thing as the past and the future. Right now is all that exists and I feel very comfortable and excited to have finally realized that.

This past week has been wonderful. I've been spending a lot of quality time with Tyler and have literally enjoyed every minute. Cold Toast played an incredible show on Marshall this past Saturday. The energy in the house was so positive and by the end of the night, I think everyone had truly let themselves go, uninhibited into the music and night. Unfortunately I've got a pile of work to do that has been slowly accumulating as my indignant regard towards getting it done has grown. I have no idea how I am going to pull of this English 200 paper. I've been unable to even handle the smaller assignments that lead up to it. Anyone know when the withdraw deadline is? I'm thinking I'm going to have to mark my calender just in case this proves to be as impossible as it feels right now.

Body Flow tonight, Yoga tomorrow, playing a show in Roanoke on Friday and then one down here at the Underground Artist's Cafe on Saturday. Come come come and keep the good vibes alive.
lets keep touching

[22 Feb 2008|12:47pm]
I know that my last entry was about a song, but this one is really exciting too. Eeeffrz is an endeavor that Tyler, Yusuf, and I took on while Yusuf was still here. It is basically just a product of us getting together and in the words of the late Mr. Leary, turning on, tuning in, and dropping out, so to speak. I think this song is my favorite of our creations. Shout Zero is a sunny day highlight. It's on myspace, so if you happen to check it out, feedback would be greatly appreciated for this stuff as well. I want to continue making Eeeffrz jams, so I'll have to figure out some way to get around Yusuf's distance from Richmond.

Speaking of turning on, tuning in, and dropping out, Lexy, Rafi, Juliana, John Graham, and I embarked upon a journey of that sort this past weekend. It was a truly incredible experience, one the best times I've had of its kind. We sat in my living room for hours just laughing, creating, and trying to make sense of the boundless nonsense entering and exiting our minds. John and I had an incredible moment with the tree in my back yard. Cold Toast made a surprise caroling appearance. The five of us, and Naseem who came over and surely felt like she was in Weirdo World, walked to the river, stopping at the tree house tree and spent a great deal of energy laughing at a kool car that kept kruisin' by. The river was incredible, though I think the rope swing is gone. I mean, I'm not one hundred percent positive about it since nothing really appeared all that familiar... but I swear I didn't see it. I really hope my eyes were only deceiving me because I think that the rope swing was one of Richmond's summer wonders.

Yesterday was the first day of instating sugar back into my diet. I ate some pasta last night and immediately regretted it. It's amazing to me how sensitive my body was to it's own digestion. Lexy and I both slept through our first Taoism exam this morning. It was terrible! We walked in near the end of class and the professor said, "now this is college, you've got to get your act together." How embarrassing... sleeping right on through an exam worth 30 percent of the class grade. Thankfully, he let us take it at 10 and I'm pretty sure we both passed, with flying colors might I add. Had it not been for Lexy's insistence that we go in late to ask him about taking late, I don't think I would have. So despite the stressful nature of this morning, the day is looking good.

The night is looking even better. I'm going to finally clean my room and go to see Cold Toast and some others at a house show with an open bar. I haven't drank in 3 weeks so I'm assuming one drink will do me in. I don't really want to be done in... so I'll have to make it a good one.
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[20 Feb 2008|02:22am]
I'm really excited about the song I just put on myspace. You should check it out. Feedback is more than welcomed. www.myspace.com/thisiskatmorgan
4 without the holds| lets keep touching

[13 Feb 2008|01:22pm]
I was just looking through old livejournal entries and couldn't figure out why there weren't any from 2008. Duh! Because I haven't updated since December. This is by far the longest break I have taken from writing in here in the (almost) 6 years I've had it. Such a long time to participate in such a thing. A few days ago I got into a conversation about livejournal, I think it was with Lexy and Juliana, and what a strange concept it is when you really break it down. It's just a huge network of people updating one another about their lives. Seriously, what a genius idea. Even if the specifics have come to matter less to most of us with age, I still think it's great. How else would I know what's going on with you people?

Anyhow, I've been very busy and happy. I'm taking a 9am Taoism class this semester. The professor is a bit absent minded, but I love waking up early and thinking about polarity and reading Allen Watts. All of my other classes are equally as enjoyable. For my English 200 paper I am writing about the phenomena that surrounds the possibility of extraterrestrial life. My anthropology professor is one of the most articulate and interesting speakers I have ever had the pleasure of listening to. French is getting really exciting because I have found myself able to understand everything said in class, even though hardly nothing is said in English. And my Asian Medicines and Religions class is truly incredible. We had to read a book called Ultraprevention and it has completely changed the way I look at my own health. In fact, the book was so inspiring that last Wednesday I decided to embark upon a 2 week sugar fast. I have not consumed any form of sugar, other than that occurring naturally in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. One week down, one left to go. Honestly though, the changes that I have felt in my body and mind by JUST eliminating sugar from my diet have been so profound that I really can't imagine returning to my old eating habits. I am amazed at how much more energy I have throughout the day, and how much better I feel mentally and emotionally. I suppose the saying was true all along, you really are what you eat.

In other news, Yusuf had been living with us since December and left last week for St. Paul. I shed some tears before saying goodbye because his presence in my life was such a warm and comfortable one. However, in the last week I have been more productive that I have been in my entire time here. I am quickly learning that there is an upside to every situation. It's easy to feel despondent when faced with sad times. But I feel more empowered now than ever to move beyond those feelings and absorb as much good as I can from every moment.

Also, I might be studying in Thailand this summer for a month. I am so excited about the prospect! Actually, I've got to head out in a few minutes to meet up with my favorite Italian professor to see about a recommendation letter for an education abroad scholarship. So I leave you now with these...

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lets keep touching

[26 Dec 2007|02:21pm]
Christmas was wonderful. As always my parents went completely overboard and my brother and sister and I loved every single second of it. I've really got to give my mother and father credit. They have ALWAYS, without fail, made Christmas time a truely magical time of year. I hope they know how fortunate I feel for their efforts. I don't know any two parents who put so much into a little holiday.

I've come out of my haze of sorrow and it feels good to be back in a positive state of mind. I am becomming more and more convinced every day that a positive frame of mind can me enough to change the world. John Lennon believed it, and the more I listen to his music, the more I think he was onto the truth. My brother is really into John Lennon right now, but he doesn't hear what Lennon was trying to say. The other day he was listening to that song, "all I am saying, is give peace a chance," and I overheard my mother say, "too bad world peace is impossible." I tryed to tell her that I believed it was that exact mind set that makes peace impossible, that as long as people refused to see it as a posibility it never can be. My thoughts were completely lost on her and my brother, however, because they can't see the human potential for absolute love. I know that there are alot of terrible things in this world, but I cannot keep myself from believing in the power of love. I have high hopes for all of us.

I got this really great book called The Toltec Prophecies of Don Miguel Ruiz and even if a person can't bring themselves to believe in healing shawmen or ancient predictions, I think the book has a very profound message. The Toltecs believe that there is a universal being and that our spirits are all a part of that one thing. And they believe that our reality is manifested by our intentions, they describe life as a "dream" and explain all of the horrible things that happen in life as a "nightmare." They believe that we have the power to eliminate that "nightmare" by simply guiding our intentions towards positive energy in love. No one can ever be sure if their interpretation of life is correct, and I have never been one to judge the validity of other peoples belief systems, but I feel with or without a base in reality, the message of love and positivity is ALWAYS a good idea, and I embrace it whole heartedly.

Something about being around my family helps me write music. I've written a few songs since I've been here, one of which, the one I am listening to right now, I really REALLY love. I recorded it on this rinky-dink device but managed to get pretty good audio quality. I think I might put this on myspace.

Anyhow, I am looking forward to New Years. Everyone I know, as well as everyone that they know, is invited to come over to my house for celibration! This is going to be a good year, I can feel it.
8 without the holds| lets keep touching

[24 Dec 2007|06:40pm]
An hour ago my Pappy asked me if I was still in contact with that one boy who came over last year and played my Dad's banjo along with one of my songs. I didn't remember it, but he told me that I had played a new song and that the boy had never heard it before but played along beautifully and afterwards he and my Pappy got to talking about banjo players and my Pappy told him that he'd make a cd of this one unconventional banjo musician for me to give to him. Apparently my Pappy never got around to making it so he wanted to know if he made it when we returned from Illinois if I could give it to the boy. I didn't know what to say. The boy he was talking about was Joe.

I've been thinking alot about Joe. One year ago today, he, Jenny, Jake, and I, were all on the metro together heading to the National Christmas Tree. It was a tradition that Jenny and I started, going up there on Christmas eve. The second year we included Jake in the tradition and last year we included Joe. And he brought his harmonica and played us Bob Dylan songs all the way to, from, and through DC. And we made a pit stop at the National Botanical Garden and looked at the gigantic display of fake towns and trains. And it was a really beautiful night and I remember talking with Joe about how nice it was to have certin traditions and how we were going to keep doing ours.

I suppose it's not really necessary to go on. The reality is painfully obvious. And it is Christmas Eve and I've got alot of wonderful things to think about rather than dwelling on this. Sometimes though, I feel like it is important to let emotions be what they are and right now, mine are sad. I know I am not alone in this. I miss him so much.

One night Joe came to my room with a burnt CD, the only song on it was this one. He told me to listen to it with the lights off and the volume up and explained to me that it sounded like dying. I didn't really get it then, but I feel like I do now. Show me around Alphabet Town.


Merry Christmas.
3 without the holds| lets keep touching

[03 Dec 2007|04:59pm]
I don't know what it is about this song but I have been entirely obsessed with it recently. I must listen to it at least 5 times everyday. After it ends I have to listen to it again. There is something about the final notes that force me into a state where I can only think about hearing the whole thing again from the beginning. Anyone who has been to my house in the last week has heard it, anyone who has been near me and a computer has heard it. I'm almost contemplating making a mixed CD with this song in between every other song on it. That is how much I love this song. It has been a really long time since I have been this into one song. With the exception of Rifle Recoil's Alas, because that song had a very lengthy run in my life as well.

This weekend was great. Thursday night was such an adventure, one that started with a spectacular date and ended on Friday afternoon with taking a bubble bath with Caitlin and day sleeping with her and Chris, all three of us exhausted and jammed into my bed. I thought that a queen bed would always have more than enough room, but I was proved wrong. I went on a great and completely spuratic voyage of the mind with my amazing friends on Thursday night and got to see so many beautiful and subtly hidden things about my friends and the world around me. Colors and art with pastels and music and body painting and the sunrise and a very cracked-out breakfast at the Village. I can't think of one negative thing to say about any of it, not even one negative thing.

Most of Friday was spent sleeping but accumulated in a fantastic quiet evening with some truly beautiful souls. The show on Saturday was awesome, Lexy's birthday get together was really fun, and the crazed company at my house until 5 in the morning left my muscles sore from laughing. Yesterday was really great as well. Had breakfast/lunch with Chad, John, and Jeff, wrote a very promising melody with John and Chad, and then watched Curb Your Enthusiasm for the first time and actually enjoyed the humor. Also watched a really interesting movie about Lenny Bruce and finally relinquished my universal disdain for video games and played Mario Cart with the Halfway House.

I got my mastered CD back and am very excited about getting the last of it all together for it's quickly approaching release! I am hoping to do some studying for French with a particularly interesting young man, plan a trip to Chicago in January, find time to go to the bank, and start practicing waking up in the morning in preparation for my 9am Taoism class next semester. An early class I sincerely hope I do not hate myself for taking. I also need to watch The Room with Patrick, Pirrot Le Fou for Dr. Speck's class, and the second installment of The Master with Chino. All of this would be so much easier if I just had a TV hooked up. One with a DVD player. I'm afraid, however, after getting so heavily involved in watching TV at my parent's place, that setting one up would be of a great detrimental consequence. Maybe I should throw out our microwave and cancel our internet and see how life would continue. Don't think I am kidding, because I very well might try that out some day.

Anyhow, there are things to be done. Specifically a class I've skipped for the last 3 weeks that I desperately need to attend. Until next time...
lets keep touching

[22 Nov 2007|03:49pm]
I'm at my parents apartment in Illinois sitting 12 inches away from, exactly next to Hart's friend Aaron. Or is it Calvin? The cool new thing with kids over here is aparently Air Soft guns. Like beebee guns except nearly incapable of harming anything accept one's eyes. It's nuts. Since I got here on Tuesday every couple of seconds the sound of plastic machine guns has been constantly reverberating throughout the apartment building. I wish you guys could see how funny it is in here right now. It's as if my parents have adopted 4 new children. Aaron, Calvin, Micayla, and Jack. They're all spread out around the apartment but Hart is no where in sight. It's been like this all day. I hope when and if I am ever a parent, my home will be like this too.

Being here has been really good for me. These days are speeding by! It's a strange sensation because I feel like when I got on that plane I just pressed pause. Oh, how I needed a pause. So here I am, on pause and making up so much precious lost face-time with my beautiful family, with time flying by all around me. Hart and I have been making music with Garageband and I'm telling you, if I could just work on expanding my knowledge of the program, I could live vicariously through making electronic music. There are literally NO limits to what you can do. It's the blessing and the curse of it for me because while no limitations mean limitless possibilities, limitless possibilities mean choices to make and skills to hone. I've never been good with either of those realities so I'll just have to keep on keepin' on.

I've been talking to my dad about some of the reading I've been doing and he gave me this really wonderful book called Monuments of Mars. It was originally written in the late 80s and then updated in the edition I have in 1992. It's an extremely informational account of the 1976 Viking Orbiter photographs of the face, city, and pyramids on Mars. It's almost terrifying to read, however, because when this work was re-published in '92, the author was very optimistic about the progress being made within the infastructure of the government regarding the release and further investigation of the startling Cydonia information. The author speaks passionately in the prologue about the nature of the photographs and how entirely irrational it was that NASA specfically expressed that there was no need to re-evalute the photos, hear the information presented by the author's team of researchers, or -most illogically of all- photographing the area again. It seems that if the world's largest, monopolyzing, space exploration institution has any doubts about the possibility of something as completely earth-shattering as extra-terretrial life, they should make efforts to either dispell the myth or prove it true. And it really is almost terrifying that since this book was written, more than 10 years ago, little if nothing has changed. Everything is still a secret, these legitimate scientific inquires are still left for the "consperacy seekers," and no one has been able to prove anything. New pictures were taken to show that the face didn't exsist... but it took over 20 years to do so... and I've just got so many questions. Crazy! http://www.metaresearch.org/media%20and%20links/press/on-improbable-claims.asp

Last night Hart and I stayed up until 4 in the morning, watching really terrible TV and knitting. Then my poor pre-metapausal mother awoke with hormone induced insomnia so we stayed up until the sun came out, talking about life and the astounding effects of proliferating positive energy. It seems that she has tapped into the same thought procsess I've been fired up on for the last few months. I've found that in attempting to maintain a positive perspective, life seems to respericate with a profound stream of positive energy. In Cosmic Journeys, the book I've been reading, the author expeirences the conciousness of the earth and learns how important and fundamental the act of being positive and apreceative is. Basically, you get what you give. She talks about how being thankful creates a wonderful circular energy within the universe. All of this is more than appropreate because, of course, it is Thanksgiving. What a beautiful day, one entirely devoted to the perpetuation of appreceation and positiveity. I feel thankful for everything. Every tree, every breath, every friend, every good and bad moment alike, and naturally on this thanksgiving, my family because they are completely imperfect in percisely the most perfect way.
6 without the holds| lets keep touching

[16 Nov 2007|11:36pm]
I can't stop thinking about Jesse Camp.



What the hell happened to him anyway? I've been seriously wondering about it for the last hour or two and decided to go ahead and look it up. There just isn't any information about him anywhere. Wikipidia claims that he was last reported to be working at a pet supply store. If that is indeed the case, I have every more the reason to initiate an active search to locate him. Obviously, our pet store employment positions have mysteriously linked us together. There must be a reason in the cosmos for his presence in my thoughts. Maybe he is trying to telepathically reach me...

It's been awhile since I've updated. Nothing terribly exciting going on. I've dyed my hair, completed my CD's mastering, and fallen in love with Sir Winston. Today my french teacher gave me a guitar. It was so strange because I REALLY dislike the woman. She's one of the worst teacher's I've had while attending VCU and I am doing very poorly in her class. Perhaps the guitar should have gone to someone who's adoration for Mme Wallace is greater! Perhaps now that I am the owner of her guitar I will now be cursed with some kind of strange karmic stagnancy. Was it wrong to accept such a gift from someone who I have no taste for? I think, what I'll do is, try and let this guitar be the start of a new perspective of her. Maybe she isn't all that bad?

Anyhow, Danks-Giving (??), Chris Kilbourn's B-day party, and a very exciting 4 hour long World Cinema "make-up class" to look forward to tomorrow. I'm off to visit my little family on Tuesday. I am beyond excited for back scratches! YES! Momma better giter nails reday!
3 without the holds| lets keep touching

[01 Nov 2007|07:52pm]
I'm more comforted now than ever. Jesus has a myspace. It's about time, Jesus!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=62687015

In other and certainly less profound news Halloween was eventful. I went as Halloween for the real Halloween and as a Native American for the show on Friday. I really wish people were more comfortable with dressing up frequently. I loved driving around this past week/weekend seeing all kinds of crazy looking people everywhere. I suppose if everyday was Halloween it would lose it's novelty for most... but not for me! I don't think I would ever get tired of seeing strange things. I just don't know when life is going to get weird enough. Maybe it already is? Ah, perception, perception.

I've recently become extremely unproductive. The past few days I've literally watched hours melt away, hours in which I spend doing literally nothing. It's odd to think about, spending hours upon end doing nothing.... how does one even do nothing? I haven't figured it out yet myself but I know for sure that if at the end of 3 to 5 hour period nothing has changed/been started/finished then nothing has been done. I don't know why this is happening to me, a month ago I was at a productive peak. I couldn't sit still. Now I can't say much more for myself. It got particularly bad with the rain last week. I started staying at home and I've begun to like it so much that I haven't felt inclined to venture beyond home much. Is this what growing up is all about? Or am I just becoming increasingly boring? Time will tell. I'm glad I can still find the where-with-all to update my livejournal. At lease I know I've got my priorities straight.

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2 without the holds| lets keep touching

[26 Oct 2007|02:20pm]
I sent my album to Inner Ear to be mastered yesterday. The session is booked for the 30th, so sometime soon after that I will be the owner of a glass master of all the music I recorded this summer. I am so excited!! Why, you might ask. Well, this glass master will be what I send to a replication/duplication company to press 300 copies with artwork. Ah!! If anyone knows of any good/reliable companies that do this sort of work, please let me know because I have been on a continous search all week to find a good place to go through. If all goes as planned, I my very first album will be out before Christmas. !!!!!!! SO EXCITING!

Went camping for the first time last weekend at Mathew's Arm in Skyline Drive. It was such a good expeirence. I want to go camping again and soon. Lexy, Rafi, Leland, Aaron, and I went on a 4 mile hike and saw a bear from only 6 feet away! Talk about scary. We were all frozen with fear until Aaron reminded us that we needed to move away from the bear tree. It poured rain all night after the hike and Leland, Lexi, and Aaron got completely drenched cooking us all dinner. Awsome.

I've been spending alot of self reflective time alone this week, doing artwork, brainstorming album art, playing music, listening to music, etc, etc. It's been really good for me. I need to spend more time like this.

There is going to be an amazing show tonight at 811 1/2 West Clay. Alamdia, Eachothers, Rifle Recoil, Galt, Meadows, Pygmylush, and myself will all be playing some ear catching music. Everyone who can make it out absolutely should. And for those in the Nova area, show tomorrow night in Haymarket, with an almost equally tantalizing line up. Come out, come out, come out!!
2 without the holds| lets keep touching

[12 Oct 2007|02:30pm]
Hey, what ever happened to Richard Cole? Has anyone heard from him in the last 3 years? I find myself wondering about him from time to time. I supose today the catylst was the weather. It's strange how a smell of a season can bring back so many past memories. This time last year I was getting used to Richmond... and actually now that I think about it, this weekend exactly one year ago was the National Folk Festival on Browns Island which means it was the first weekend that everyone I spent most of my time with went back to Woodbridge without me so I spent the whole weekend with Joe and realized that he was one my very best friends. Two years ago I was dating Joey, in an entirely elated and simple state. Three years ago we lost Wes and had to learn how to move on with life. And then, back to where I started with all of this, four years ago Jenny was dating Chris Myle and we would to go to Eastcoast shows all of the time. Four years ago I used to spend all of my waking moments on the phone with Jessie Dodson. A matter of fact, Jessie is actually the one responsible for this livejournal's lay out. Hahahah. We used to hang out with Rick and Jenny Cole and I met Mike Fitz and fell in love with our nightly phone conversations and the Lemon Heads and the Broken Social Scene and wasn't allowed to ride the the car with my friends.

It strikes me as so strange to think about these past events as a part of my lifetime. Was I really a person who had to be in by 11? Was I really a person who spent the weekends seeing Masic at Eastcoast? Did I really make out John Jones on Jessie's couch in her basement? Did Jenny really get her lip peirced in a bathroom stall at a show?? Did I seriously love the Postal Service??? Did I really find scarves to be overwhelmingly romantic???? Everything changes so rapidly when veiwed in retrospect that it is difficult not to feel extremely removed from certin events and relationships. WEIRD.

I need to start taking more pictures... and not just because I want to be able to look at things and remember how they were, but so that I can look at things and know how they are. Does that make sense?

It's a nice day out, I'm going to go take advantage of it.
4 without the holds| lets keep touching

In Rainbows [10 Oct 2007|08:19pm]
The new Radiohead album is amazing. It went on sale for download last night and I couldn't stop listening to it until morning.

Aliens are real and it is blowing my mind because I can feel everything I've always inharently felt and everything I've recently been unable to stop thinking about slowly coming togeather. Next summer I am going to go visit a crop circle.
4 without the holds| lets keep touching

[06 Oct 2007|07:10pm]
My job is really cool. I can't believe I'm getting paid 12 dollars an hour to chat with people about their pets. I can see how it might get a little daunting long term... but I'm not worried about long term anything. I'm in a short term kind of mind frame. It's good. Work was great today, however, I did meet a very angry spaztic man who was really flipping his shit over dog food pouches. He kept saying things like, "LOOK DEAR! I DON'T THINK ANYONE UNDERSTANDS MY URGANCY HERE. I DROVE ALL THE WAY HERE FOR THESE DAMN POUCHES AND IT'S FUCKING REDICULOUS THAT YOU ONLY HAVE 10! I WANT A WHOLE CRATE! GET ME A MANAGER BECAUSE NO ONE UNDERSTAND MY URGANCY!" It was almost frightening how worked up he got. I mean, damn dude, you can't expect a store to predict your wack ass need for bulk purchasing.

I took off work for our reading days because I was expecting to go to Illinois to visit my family. Turns out, instead, I'll be going in November. It looks like there is a trip in need of planning. Awsome.

I think everyone is seeing Ghost-Face Killah right now. I really should have picked up those free tickets. Oh well, wine city for me tonight. Not so bad.

I got a really awsome pair of pants at Urban for 9 dollars. Hell yea, I love a good deal.
1 without the hold| lets keep touching

[30 Sep 2007|05:05am]
I really do like pears. Who would have ever guessed?? I have found myself wondering about lenoleic acid, and tourine, and chondoctrine, and gulcosamine, and low levels of magnisium because if it it's so important for dogs and cats, it must be for me too... right??? I really like it when it feels like fall even if it means that I drink a little too much wine, and say a little too many strange things to exactly the right person. MAN. There is just so much to think about. Cheese, the meaning of life, breasts, grafitti, trancendental expeirences with the night... india, Egypt. I mean WOW. Seriously. I haven't even thought about alot of things. There are just so many things that no one ever thinks about. Still in exsistance but rarely mentioned, rarely pondered! I am going to get on all of that right now. And seriously, if I dream another really intense dream, my night will be made! I hade one about a baby last week that really made my day. And actually, on that very day that was made by the previous night's baby dream, I happened to come across a video of this little baby sitting in a highchair laughing these big huge amazing gut laughs and it made me cry becuase those kinds of true beautiful stomach laughs are the most pure and wonderful thing in the entire world.
3 without the holds| lets keep touching

[23 Sep 2007|11:54pm]
I love coming home to a roomate who will give me a back rub. Seriously, Jake is so wonderful for rubbing my back. He might find that I will become greedy with back rubs because my back loves it so much. Skin was made for reciving massages, obviously.

This weekend was pretty cool. Juliana and Ryan went with me to Arlington for my show with Rifle Recoil and Galt. Hume also played a pleasent acoustic set on a hill in Jeff's back yard. Rifle Recoil blew my fucking mind. That man has got a near insane sense of music and emotion. I felt such joy listening to him play. I need him to know that I get more excited about seeing his set than playing my own when we do shows togeather. That is a big thing because almost nothing in the world excites me more than playing my music for a group of people. Amazing.

The three of us were planning on driving up to Baltimore after the show but our plans fell through and we ended up just crashing at Jeff's. It was an interesting night due majorly in part the strange fellow who told me that my first and second songs were like Malcom X? Huh?? I wish I had pressed upon him to explain his statement. He also told me that my music had an urgancy to it. I liked that one alot but felt it less meaningful after the Malcom X thing. Jeff made us coffee and macaroni this morning and then I went and hung out with Joe's parents. What's nuts about it was that I had more fun sitting and talking to them than I have had anywhere in awhile. They are both such incredible people with huge open hearts and so many interesting and beautiful things to say. Everytime I spend time with them I feel like I understand Joe a little more. It's strange to be able to say that as he is no longer here... but it is a beautiful thing see the foundations of light that transfered through in such a big way to Joe. I hope they come to Richmond soon. I want to take them to Millie's for brunch.

Tomorrow is going to be crazy. I've got work at 9 followed by class followed by community service, followed by more class. AHHH. Best to keep busy in these times, however, because too much idleness always seems to lead to something unpleasent in my mind. Should I fight it or try to understand it? I'm not sure yet but I am working on it.
lets keep touching

[19 Sep 2007|04:53am]
I just realized that I have been writing in this livejournal for 5 years. Whoa.
lets keep touching

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